We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So much Jack, so little girl.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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