I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
