I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
