oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
