doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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