He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
