she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I would fuck him just for his dog
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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