OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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