how can u be prego again
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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