a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
