it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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