Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think I am morally bankrupt
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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