I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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