I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
