Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
is wine microwaveable?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Two words: blizzard sex
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
