The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
