he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
