Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
