we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
