Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
