my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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