Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
