We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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