Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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