Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
