The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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