She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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