Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
