i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
