booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
