Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I supernannyed him into submission
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
