Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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