Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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