i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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