I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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