Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
false alarm. still invincible.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
