i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
