Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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