***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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