My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
