Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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