Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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