so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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