yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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