I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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