I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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