I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
