i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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