with your own penis?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
