1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Randomize
