she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
In America we eat man semen.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
