my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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