Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
