HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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