i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize