you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
