I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
