is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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