I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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