So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize