can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
birth control should be required to get into college
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
