You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
