i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize